Father figure

Hello everyone! How are you today on this beautiful Sunday? Happy fathers Day everyone, I hope that you have a blessed Sunday! I’m a little off today because I never really see my dad but at least I have my one and only father, God the father. Going to spend time today with my fiancé and his dad. We’re all going to go play disc golf. Church service was one of a kind, the preaching was really good. He preached about being a godly man not a worldly one. Growing up without my father has always been difficult for me. My dad was also abusive and that’s why I didn’t live with him for long. My babysitter saw his hand marks around my neck and called the police. I even messaged him saying Happy Father’s Day and he hasn’t responded. I forgive him though, I told him that while he was away in prison. I’m trying my very best to not think about it. I’m grateful for God the father. He is truly a good dad to me. Hope everyone has a blessed day.

Tired

Hello everyone! Last night was kind of difficult. I was under a lot of warfare with the Jezebel spirit, So please keep me in prayer. I only got a couple of hours of sleep. I understand now that many of my struggles and issues I’ve been having have been from this spirit. How can I know? All last night the spirit exposed itself. Today has been more difficult being that I am exhausted and a little cranky. I’m impatiently waiting for my Pastors to message me about this, but nothing so far. Keep me in prayer, I feel a bit off today in a need of some clarity. Hope everyone has a good night, talk more tomorrow.

Witch attack

Hello guys! How are you today? I did some reading today and spent some quality time in prayer. I’ve heard some testimonies about people who have gone to heaven. They speak on choosing their age when you die. I also read of people who get the opportunity to see their children again who may have died on earth in heaven. I have two more chapters to read. The book is called, “The Third Heaven,” by Perry Stone. I suggest you read it, it’s great! The lord showed me last night that there are witches going around in the spirit cursing homes, I was sure to pray against it. I don’t know if you’ve heard but the satanist are planning to do a one world march this Sunday, so we need to pray for God to intervene. We need to cover our homes and families in the blood of Jesus🩸 !!! I wish you all well, God bless.

A new thing

Hello everyone! God bless you all on this beautiful day! God is definitely doing a new thing. For some reason I believe that my presence around my family is a light to them. My family has had many divisions within in it even before becoming a Christian. I got to see my two beautiful nephews today and my great great grandmother. My nephews are both new borns, only a few months apart. I’m going to play tennis with My fiancé soon and get out of this house for a little. Today was a good day besides this huge zit on my chin. I also keep having this strange dream about me having a lot of clothing in my drawers that I didn’t have before. I have remembered having this dream before and the excitement I would feel to see it. I Wonder what it means. Also, We got a breakthrough! This is exciting news! Me, my brothers and sisters drove the van together to my grandmas house. I was able to play the Christian radio for the whole ride to and back without any complaints. What a miracle!! Before the first song or so everyone would complain about the music and make it a fuss but everyone seemed to be fine about it. Me and my step sister, who is older then me by a few years have been getting close. We’ve had a lot of disagreements and arguments in the past that we are learning to forgive. Things are getting where they need to be. Hopefully, they will begin to open up to the one who made them. Have a great rest of your day guys! Much love!

Visitors

Hello guys! This is my late night blog since I didn’t do it early this morning! I got to see my grandmother who is 90 years old and will see her tomorrow as well. I am excited for this weekend for some reason. Hopefully, it’s a great one and that you have a great weekend too! Been reading about heaven and many new things. If I learn something amazing then I will be sure to keep you up to date. I am trying to be as productive as much as I can. I can’t stand hearing my older stepbrother in the other room talking to his online buddies. My step brother plays xbox all day and everyday. It’s very bad and he’s pretty much always been that way since I moved in here like 10 years ago. I’m starting to see my youngest stepbrother follow that same habit and he is only 12. My family is not that close as I’d like. Most of the gatherings are drinking and smoking together, never any real time spending. But, I’m going to go to bed now. Have a good night and sweet dreams.

I’m listening

He is knocking on the door of your heart, waiting for you to welcome him in. He is greater then these storms and he is greater then what you’ve known. Jesus Christ is capable to forgive the biggest offense and offer the greatest of loves ever known to man. Welcome.

Hello everyone on this beautiful Day! I have some very great news! I will be going to Texas with my fiancé at the end of this month! I believe it will be better to getaway for about a week or so. Last time I went to Texas, I went without my fiancé and spent about 2 months there. My grandma did that on purpose, in my opinion because she had just lost my uncle a little bit before coming out to see her. Last time I was there God moved mightily over me. I felt so close to him like I’ve never had felt before. Maybe it was because it was a much more cleaner environment, spiritually speaking. The lord also told me when I was out there that one day I will be moving out there. God usually speaks to me through a vision or a powerful detailed dream or when I’m interceding and sometimes even worshiping. God speaks to people in a way that they would understand. Sometimes he speaks to your spirit, for God is spirit. How does God speak to you? Also, when I say God, I’m speaking of the one that sent his one and only begotten son to die for the sins of the world. Jesus Christ, who was raised from the grave in three days and is going to be returning for his church very soon! Truly I have seen the power of God in my own life. I lived a childhood of neglect from my parents and abuse from my father. I never exactly experienced what it means to be loved. There was this void. What I did with that void over my time period of growing up? I would cut my self and I had everyday thoughts of suicide. God came to me. I went to a church service one night and had a pastor pray for me. As he prayed, a demon that had been tormenting my mind began to show itself, beyond my control. This is real life guys. Demons are real. Jesus is greater then the powers of darkness. From that day I had been truly saved and set free. But the everyday walk is not easy, I must admit. Narrow is the path to eternal life and very few find it. Have a great day guys, and remember to talk to God today. ❤️

My thorns

Hello everyone! God bless you all on this wonderful day. I’ve learned some new things this weekend. Must I conclude that the start of this week feels like it will be far greater then the last one. I personally love Perry Stones teachings and books! He is a man of God with some powerful revelations given by the Holy Spirit. He is very encouraging. Yesterday, I went to church and I couldn’t help but weep and weep. I spoke in tongues and really cried out to God. I felt Gods comfort over me that everything will be okay. I learned that this is my own thorn to buffet me, just like Paul had. This is my cross that I have been called to carry for the sake of the gospel of Jesus Christ. In case you haven’t known, I am a very big dreamer. I have usually at least 2 to 3 dreams every night. It is a gift but it comes with its difficulties as well. The lord has in some ways silenced more of the visionary gifts in my own request because this season has had a lot of weight on me. I woke up to the hearing of a sound of a what would be called a spiritual alarm or warning sound. As though danger of some kind is near. Not quite sure as of now what it was given for. My fiancé‘s dad has been giving me the cold shoulder off and on. The painful jab of a compliment that was really an insult or a joke that was really hurtful. His family I guess feel I am not good enough or simply jealous of his love for me because truthfully theres no legitimate reason to be disliked by them. I will soon be his wife and we have been together for 4 1/2 years as of now. I believe that his father may have to do with that alarm sound in my ear this morning. When and if it something comes up, I’ll keep you up to date. My fiancé’s family also occasionally throw racist insults at him about acting, ‘white’. Which is racist to my race because I’m am a white woman and his is Puerto Rican. I choose to not let these things get to me because none of it really has to do with me but completely them. Anyway, I’m going to keep reading and keep my head high.

Healing

Goodmorning everyone on this beautiful Sunday!

I am thankful for the growth that is happening on here! Everyone on here is truly like family & it is really making a difference for me. This week I’m going to do my best to keep my eyes off of my situation and on God, As much as I can. I encourage you too to do the same. Going to pray more again and be more on fire again. Just when I’ve reached out to people, they really made my situation bigger then my God and I’ve listened. God has been taping on my heart. I cried this morning and almost everyday because my condition isn’t good for my relationship with God. It’s like being sick not physically but spiritually. Good news, I will likely be going to my grandmothers in Texas in a few weeks. My grandma has been there for me. She is the only one who really helped me to see the value within me. Who is that person in your life and how have they changed your perspective of yourself? Have a blessed Sunday! Much love.

The same old thing

Hello guys!

My mom is feeling a lot better! I had a very hard day yesterday. But I had a friend who helped me through it. Come to find out that most of those toxic emotions were being rooted on by my period to come. Ladies, we know how that can be. Others get really bad cramps… well, I get really bad emotions that seem to be overwhelming and hard to deal with in the moment. I said things yesterday in heat of frustration and anger and really need to ask God for his grace at this very low point in my life. I’m really at a point in life where this is the DIFFICULT season. I’m doing and pushing forward as much as possible. I’m going to consider therapy because I believe that these problems now are rooted from my childhood. I dyed my hair, I just want change in all measures, shapes and sizes. I don’t want the same old. I want change. I just finished reading a book called, ‘she dreams’, by Tiffany Bluhm. Great book, she has definitely encourage me to believe more in myself. She talks about how we need to not let the past effect our futures. I have the weekends to relax and really enjoy life. But it’s getting old living the same every single week. Keep me in prayer! God bless.

Family Poison

Hello guys!

I’m currently updating you on my last blog, ‘irritated’. I went to a Christian friends house of mine and we ate dinner and studied the Bible together. It was great. I love to be away from home, it’s were I truly feel like myself and like I can be anyone I want too. We were reading the book of Genesis chapter 11-14. I Learned how God blessed Abraham with great blessings. What God spoke to Abraham can also be for us, his Children, because we are offspring of Abraham. We need only to believe it. Earlier, I took a very long walk. My mom has been sick since last Thursday. I honestly don’t know how much longer I can go hearing her vomit. I’m praying for my moms salvation and my stepdad too. My stepdad is a recovering alcoholic, he is falling back into old habits again. I’m worried because he drank so much before that he would have seizures to the point he bit his tongue halfway off. My church doesn’t know about these battles I face. Sadly, it’s like I’m alone dealing with them. I’ve reached out so many times for help but the people who were really entrusted with me didn’t care as I would have expected. That’s why I’m doing this blog. This will be an outlet for me. I know God has me here in this specific house, with this specific family, and with this specific past for a reason. It’s hard to accept. I see the Christians around me with great jobs… kind families and of course great character traits. I at times envy it. I’m the shy girl that people just can’t seem to understand her unusualness. Sounds so easy, but really it’s hard walking around with the outcast vibe. I’m trying my best to be my best. I have a few people in my life who really accept me for me but I wish to be much more closer to them. The Christian ladies house I’ve been going too.. has really become like family. It feels great to be there but I know deep down it’s only for a few hours☹️… one day we will all be one family, truly, in paradise.

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