Helpless sheep

He understands.

Good morning everyone on this fine day! I hope everyone had a blessed weekend! Church was a little difficult yesterday, I had a bad start on the weekend with me being moody and feeling alone. Sunday evening became brighter when my fiancé comforted me to come to church despite my shame. My fiancé’s parents are all on vacation and I haven’t seen his mom in over a month. I was upset that she asked My fiancé how he was doing and that she misses him. I guess I thought we had a close relationship and that maybe she would miss me too. It really upset me. Even when I went to Texas for 2 months, none of his family bothered to message me to know if I was okay and that hurt because we all spend quite a lot of time together. The issue isn’t being lonely, just the feeling that no one cares. My mental health has been better that I get time to myself away from all toxic habitual people and the noise of many. The lord comforted me in church. It’s like every Sunday I’m weeping and weeping for the past years. I cry almost every service. The lord gave my fiancé a dream on Saturday night. The dream went like this— it was him in a house full of expensive material and there was a little sheep outside, the sheep became surrounded by many wolves. He became astonished at the amount of wolves that appeared and began to record. On this Sunday service our pastor reads from the Bible in the book of Haggai chapter 1. It speaks about the lord being upset with them who have felt secured and satisfied in what their own houses and have not desired to help his hurting people. I felt this was about his dream he had on Saturday. That God was telling him that he is to care for me as himself, as you can see I’m am often in Ruins. Truthfully, he is my only true companion physically. My fiancé hasn’t helped me to the extent that he ought too and neither has my brothers or sisters in Christ that surround me. The chapter then goes on to say that the lord is going to tear apart what they have taken high pleasure in so that the one who is High will become low with the one who is low. I do pray for the lords mercy on him. There has been times where I really needed my fiancé’s help and he bailed on me. He is to be my husband and I truly felt the compassion of God around me as my pastor read those words off that page this Sunday morning. I feel loved. I thought to myself, “Wow, the lord is rebuking him.” I am that sheep in his dream. He is to take care of me and protect me as a husband. I even made sure to tell him during service,” wow, this is just like your dream!”Sometimes it’s hard to receive conviction but man is it good for the soul. I hope the lord gets through to my fiancé so that we can be more in tune with what God has for us and for our future. Have a blessed day, talk more tomorrow! Love you all! ❤️

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